Here's a little something to cheer about. My Harmon levels went up but they are suppose to go up 66% every 3 days. Mine went from 627 to 978 in 2 days so as it isn't the best it still is good news. However my progesterone levels should be high and are very low. So the doctor gave me some pills to make my progesterone rise. He said if this pregnancy wasn't meant to be these pills wouldn't make something happen if it isn't suppose to. (Well of course not, God is the one in control, not a pill) However if it is suppose to be then they will help things move along. He didn't do an ultrasound because he said that it really was too early to tell anything and that I am bleeding but not like I would be during a miscarriage. That too means nothing because again, they just don't know. If my harmon levels had went down then they would know but since they went up...nothing is known at this time. I have to go back on Monday and get my blood taken again (it looks like I shoot up now) and then on Tuesday I should know if the levels went up or down again. Same thing, if they went up then good if down then I am having a miss miscarriage, meaning I am loosing what is there. Regardless I go back next Wednesday as well to do another ultrasound to see what is left inside and/or what the process inside is compared the everything else.
The doctor said it is just too early to say one way or another. So I have to wait. God is really teaching me patience with this whole thing and well if you know me...I have none...until now. So it really was good news today, however, I don't want to think of it that way. I don't want to start thinking I am pregnant again because I still could be miscarrying. I have already put in my mind that there is no baby and I keep checking before I flush to see if everything has come out yet. I am afraid if I stop looking or stop thinking negative that I will just be let down next week. I hate waiting but if I am pregnant I will have another 9 months of waiting and if I am not I may have several more weeks of waiting. I have read that some people don't actually pass the tissue and everything for up to 5 to 6 weeks. I could actually bleed this long. I can't imagine 5 more weeks of bleeding, not knowing, and looking behind me. UGH.
Regardless so far the prayers are working in my favor. I know it had already been planned, what is suppose to happen but prayer doesn't hurt! I thank you all for your emails and comments, prayers and love. Please keep praying. Maybe everything will be okay and the baby will be okay as well, I don't know and won't for at least another week or so but I know I feel the power of prayer around me and I am so grateful for all of you.
Thanks again. I love you all.
The doctor said it is just too early to say one way or another. So I have to wait. God is really teaching me patience with this whole thing and well if you know me...I have none...until now. So it really was good news today, however, I don't want to think of it that way. I don't want to start thinking I am pregnant again because I still could be miscarrying. I have already put in my mind that there is no baby and I keep checking before I flush to see if everything has come out yet. I am afraid if I stop looking or stop thinking negative that I will just be let down next week. I hate waiting but if I am pregnant I will have another 9 months of waiting and if I am not I may have several more weeks of waiting. I have read that some people don't actually pass the tissue and everything for up to 5 to 6 weeks. I could actually bleed this long. I can't imagine 5 more weeks of bleeding, not knowing, and looking behind me. UGH.
Regardless so far the prayers are working in my favor. I know it had already been planned, what is suppose to happen but prayer doesn't hurt! I thank you all for your emails and comments, prayers and love. Please keep praying. Maybe everything will be okay and the baby will be okay as well, I don't know and won't for at least another week or so but I know I feel the power of prayer around me and I am so grateful for all of you.
Thanks again. I love you all.
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